she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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