Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
