Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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