im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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