Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
