I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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