I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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