I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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