I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
