I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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