in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
