The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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