i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
