just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
