You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?