hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?