I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
