dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
