As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
