yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize