Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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