Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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