My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
