No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
