He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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