no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
