He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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