I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
