Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
