marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
