im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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