He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
