How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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