Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
