Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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