clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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