Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize