I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
