you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
