Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
