well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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