Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
