Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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