Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
