It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
