I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
