new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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