I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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