you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
