you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
