Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
