mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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