we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
