Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
