I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
