my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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