you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
