Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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