I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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