She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
