Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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