I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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