Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
