are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
