My Higher Power is John Stamos
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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