Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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