i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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