i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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