Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
