69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
