I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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