Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

My Vagina smells like Nemo again.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(916): View more from California

WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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(925): View more from California

She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.

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(949): View more from California

honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator

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(707): View more from California

I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"

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