dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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