Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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